My Judy!

Soni and I at the KICK! five year anniversary awards program

For those of you who dont know, a "Judy" is a gay guys best girlfriend. lasaunji (Soni) Colston has been my Judy for over 21 years now... and through experiences we have built a lasting bond that to this day helps me get through life! I wanted to spend some time talking to Soni because as my friend she fills so many of my memories and photographs and as such she opens up many parts of my life's story. While I certainly have more than one Judy, Soni is my first and therefore has a special place in my heart!

Epiphany: Ok well thanks for coming on the today. So do you remember the first time we met?

Soni: Ummmm, was it at McNamara?

Epiphany: No actually it was in the CPC HQ building at the GM Tech center in Warren in 1985 you and your brother came in with your dad one day... I kept thinking to myself... wow cute kids! It wasn't for another couple of years before we worked at Emmit McNamarra. I think it was during that time that I thought to myself, wow this is someone I'm going to be long term friends with! Then company fell apart we parted for another period of time until the day we both unknowingly move into 850 Whitmore in Palmer Park and then I said to myself, why does god keep throwing us together???

Soni: I do recall that meeting... I can't remember why we were there w/my dad that day though... Hahhaahhaa.. As for why god keeps throwing us together, fate made me your assigned Judy!! (smile)

Epiphany: I think it was then I knew you were going to be my Judy;-) Any memories of those days at 850?

Soni: Lots of memories at 850...Us at Bright ideas picking out our sofas... I think you still have yours. I gave mine to Treagen when he moved out 2 yrs ago. It's a little worn, but still going strong. (smile) The scary laundry room at 850 still gives me the willies... Me cooking and sharing cookies/meals and visa-versa. The big fight you and Perry decided to have that night, and you bringing stuff in my apt cause you didn't want him to destroy some of your belongings... Finally the overall feeling of comfort and camaraderie of having someone I knew in the building.

Epiphany: Yes I do still have that sofa… its in its old yet comfortable stage…. And yes that was the night Perry Moved out; you have been there through all of my drama!!! And good time too! At the time with you and Byron living on the same floor I felt a sense of family... which can be rare. Once in the circle you seemed very comfortable around the children as it were... have you always been accepting of the life style....?

Soni: The answer would be 'yes' because I've always been accepting of 'people' period. I'm not a judgmental person and I think that's a trait that makes people comfortable w/me. I have a fairly large circle of friends and I think being non-judgmental is what makes them gravitate to me. I think it creates the foundation of trust and loyalty I share with people that really know me. I look at the person, not who they choose to sleep with. What relevance does that have in my life anyway?

Epiphany: Back to Perry again I remember the day of his funeral at greater grace... you sat next to me and gave me a lot of support that day... Additionally we lost our dear friend Montrice this year, Has it been easy to become so emotionally involved with this particular circle of friends? Has anything come from the experiences?

Soni: Emotionally, the friendships have been easy. Life, on the other hand... Life and death are companions; unfortunately, you can't have one w/o the other. What I've learned from the transitions of my friends is the value of how precious the life and love I have around me is. (I have to let you know, you have just really taken me there...heavy sigh).

Epiphany: Life isn’t always easy I remember when I was laid off in 1995 you were able to get me in at Ford at the Ren Cen. Thus we were able to integrate our Judy moments at work again... I remember sitting at your desk while you fought with Ford dealers to quit calling you lasagna LOL “Uhh Sir my name is Lasaunji, that’s spelled L A S A U N J I! With all the things that have brought and kept us together over these 21 years, what do you think we bring to each other’s life?

Soni: Right! Folks always thought of dinner when they talked to me and still do actually. Ummmm, I think we have a push-me-pull-you kinda friendship. When one has been in doubt or feeling defeated, the other has always been there to encourage and offer that certain insight needed to help make it thru. I've also learned thru you where the VIA depot is in Windsor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Epiphany: Yeah I have taken you down the path a bit... but your answers are great... and that last like... you got some jokes too, love it! I’ve always appreciated your pick up service in Windsor (For those who don’t know Windsor is the city in Canada across the river from Detroit… I would take the train from Toronto to Windsor and Soni would pick me up all times of the day and night to get me home!J

Epiphany: Ok "I" call you Judy but there are other names like fag hag that reflect our kind of relationship... Why do you thing men who are in the life have such close friendships with women?

Soni: First of all I don't take to kindly to "fag-hag" I'll go for the fag part, but I'm far from being a hag!!!! Growing up the stereotype is go to Dad for encouragement after you get in a fight and go to Mom for your kisses and bandages. I think men in the life are more in tune with their emotions and the facade of being 'oh so tough' is not an issue. Gay men realize there is nothing like having a best girlfriend to share with. Straight men could learn a lesson in that.

Epiphany: You got that right, its weird that straight men can become quite jealous of that unique connection! On another tangent do you think we have more drama in our lives then straight people?

Soni: No, I wouldn't say more drama, just more elaborate drama!!! :) It comes w/more theatrics and seems to linger on and on, and on...

Epiphany: And on and on and on! LOL There are so many memories of really fun and sometime funny moments… Especially at the million parties we have been to... my mind especially remembers G (Soni’s BF at the time) finding the Gmoney 2000 (a rather large yet realistic latex toy, don’t ask!;-) and while shaking it around drawing a comparison to him self that made nearly every man in the room sweet and nearly faint LOL! You've always dated guys who have been really kewl.. Is that a factor of who you are?

Soni and her man G and I at the annual white party!

Soni: Hahahahahhaha… The infamous or should I say famous G-2000!!! Well, Cushy, I'd like to think so (smile) Until recently, I prided myself on being a good judge of character regarding whom I've dated. Every now and then though a wolf in sheep’s clothing may slip in. But I digress; the guys I date know fairly quickly, that I have a diverse group of friends. Quite honestly, the typical initial reaction is curiosity, which usually after meeting the gang quickly turns into fond affection.

Epiphany: What is one or two of your favorite moments???

Soni: Since you've put Perry so heavily on my mind, one of the best times was the night I went out w/you and Perry to the club Zippers. I too, was enchanted by Perry's ease and fluidity on the dance-floor. He hands down the best dancer I'd ever seen. You took a picture of us dancing that night. I think that was one of my 1st experiences at a gay club.
The other, was you and a whole slew of our friends, straight and gay going to the Off Broadway East were they had male strippers. The music was bumping! Talk about letting the music just take you. I think that's the night I was introduced to DJ Blackcat (another of our friends that has transitioned). One of the things I remember most was how our friends kind of made a barrier between G and the crowd as if to say, “do not even think about approaching this piece!” The body gestures were subtle but it was obvious, our friends were not allowing anyone to approach him. That was such a good night and good time in my life.
The Gang at Off Broadway East!

Blackcat, Soni and Montrice

Monty and Soni durring a better time!

Epiphany: Well you and Perry did have a special bond; he was enigmatic for many of us… and hell yeah, all those guys looking at G at the club, if it hadn’t been for us he would have been devoured. We had to protect your man! LOL
OK last question...and closing statement... 21 years... my Judy...any regrets;-) lol?

Soni: Yes (you weren't expecting that answer were you?) That I haven't been to Toronto to visit yet........

Well we really need to take care of that don’t we! You need to come for Pride or Caribana!
I want to thank you for sharing your candid thoughts, I think that you have played such an important and integral part of my life and I love ya for who you are and for being there in my life...even now with all the miles between us we still manage to keep a close tie! They say friendship can be for a reason a season or for life... I’m happy to have you for all three but mostly the later!

Right back at-cha!! OOXXXOO ~ Soni X

Soni and Kieth Boykin At KICKS! Fifth Anniversary Awards Program

Soni and I at a fund raiser for our friend.....